The other day I was saying something to my children about food when I realized I say it all the time. Then I made a list of the other things I frequently say during mealtime. In short, I try to teach important lessons using common sayings with a bit of humor.
So here are the 5 things I say most frequently at mealtime, and more importantly, why I say them.
1. Be Flexible with Food
Okay, this one I say before eating but it’s important to include. I say “Be Flexible with Food” when my kids are going to eat at someone else’s house or we are going over to friends for dinner or to an unknown restaurant. I follow with more info such as remembering their manners, not yelling “I don’t like it,” and taking the food that is offered even if they aren’t sure they want to eat it.
Big A gets this, but Little D still needs the reminder. I find preparing the kids and managing expectations for the eating experience helps a lot.
2.Two Cheeks!
Little D has this habit of grabbing his food and eating it while standing up. It drives me crazy and I always follow this behavior by asking him to sit down. Often, he’ll get on the chair but not sit directly on it. So when I say “Two Cheeks!” it means I want his entire bottom — both cheeks — on the seat.
It’s become a joke in our home and the kids now know that if one of their cheeks is not on the chair, it’s at risk for getting pinched.
3. What Does Your Tummy Say?
I’ve been saying this one the longest. Typically, when my kids ask for more food or dessert, I ask them what their tummy says. Sometimes it’s a “more” and other times they will decide they are full.
According to one study, child care providers often give cues for children to eat more without references to hunger or fullness. Examples include asking children if they want more food without referring to fullness, telling children to eat, try, or finish food, and praising children when they eat more food.
The researchers call helping children recognize hunger and fullness cues “intake coaching” which is when parents accept their children’s hunger cues but help them to make appropriate choices. “What Does Your Tummy Say?” is my low key way of helping my children assess how hungry they are before taking food.
4. Food Deserves Your Attention
During meals, sometimes the kids look around, decide to get up or turn while eating. I remind them that “Food Deserves Your Attention.” The point is food is important in our house and when we eat, let’s pay attention and be mindful. More in this post about why it’s important to pay attention to meals.
5. Save Your Appetite for Dinner
At home, we are sure not to eat leading up to dinnertime so my kids have an appetite for dinner. But when we go other places, there are often appetizers they like to snack on. When they keep going back for more I remind them to “Save Your Appetite for Dinner.” They don’t always listen but I do it anyway.
The last time we ate at grandmas, Big A realized she ate too many pretzels and watermelon and just wasn’t hungry for dinner. She was kind of sad because it was one her favorite foods, chicken. So hopefully with the reminders and this natural consequence, it will sink in.
And really that’s what’s behind these little sayings. Kids may not take heed the first or twentieth time you say it, but eventually, it becomes what they do.
What do you say to your kids at mealtime?
- Try one of Maryann’s books, all sold on Amazon:
From Picky to Powerful: The Mindset, Strategy, and Know-How You Need to Empower Your Picky Eater
The Family Dinner Solution: How to Create a Rotation of Dinners Meals Your Family Will Love
Fearless Feeding: How to Raise Healthy Eaters From High Chair to High School
My Body’s Superpower: The Girls’ Guide to Growing Up Healthy During Puberty
Great post. Got me to think of what I say often. Funny, I always say listen to your belly, what does he say? Very similar. I heard about a blog/book, I think, (maybe from u- lol) a while back that was “don’t yuck on my yum” & that has really caught on in our family. Not just with food but with other preferences too. I like your reminders for when u aren’t around. I always try to reinforce that everyone has different likes/dislikes. Very much enjoyed this post.
Thanks Jen! I love don’t yuck my yum…will be using that!
Agree!
The “Don’t Yuck my Yum” was from our book đ Glad you are using it!
This is great! Funny, I say so many of the same things to my three kids… But I love the “two cheeks.” I usually say “tush down,” but yours is a keeper and I’m going to try that! Eating while standing or walking makes me crazy. It’s hard to keep little kids at the table though, so I find myself sounding like a broken record. Thanks for sharing this!
Your welcome Gillian. I don’t know where my son gets it from, we are rarely in a hurry while eating. Guess he’s just hungry!
My parent always used to say “when you’re full, you’re full”. For some reason both me and my brother used to feel guilty if we didn’t eat everything on our plates (probably something a relative said at some point). And of course we would be sad if we were too full for dessert. So they would remind us not to over eat and get a sore tummy! And in the case of dessert, they would put aside a portion for us to have later!
Smart parents you have ; )
I tell children they should be selfish with their food! That’s right “Selfish” They should look at the food they are about to eat and ask “what’s in it for me”. And a bit of fist pump on the chest is good too! To show they mean it. Always gets their attention.
I like that. Unique and effective!
My kids are grown now and both are healthy, adventurous eaters. When they would say “I don’t like that!” I would follow that by saying “Yet- I don’t like that, yet.” Then I would usually say something to the effect of “One day you will try it and really like it!” That gave them the freedom to refuse that food without forcing, yet planted the seed that one day they might like it. They are now grown and will try just about anything!
Thanks Valissa. I do something similiar too. I usually say their taste buds change as they get older and use the yet as well. Good to hear it eventually pays off.
My version of “Be flexible with food” on a recent several-day long visit to friends: I told my son he didn’t have to eat everything he was given, but he must not say anything rude about it, nor demand something different, and he should do his best to at least look like he was eating it. After all, adults are allowed to do that as guests.
The great thing was, not only did he do what I asked, he actually went ahead and ate everything he was given at each meal, and when I asked him why later, he said he was trying to be more polite. (I suppose it’s also possible all the outdoor activities on the farm made him hungrier than usual, although that’s not what he thought.)
Thanks for sharing Anna. I think this is an important one for kids to understand and part of teaching them manners. I also think this type of exposure helps kids expand their tastes. Sounds like a fun vacation!
I love this post. I am taking âtwo cheeksâ as of tonight and going to start using it. My version (âSit Properly!!â) is so much less catchyđ. But itâs probably my biggest pet peave when the kids haphazardly sit and just start eating. Iâm desperately trying to teach my younger daughter to plant her âtwo cheeksâ! And I canât agree more w the constant repetition. They will laugh one day as teens and adults and remember youâre constant reminders at meal time
Let’s hope!!