This is part 1 of my Managing Sweets Series
SUGAR and FAT.
People of all ages prefer this taste combination. Yeah, some people like sweeter foods, and others prefer salty but as I learned in my training as a dietitian, the mixture of sugar and fat is one that is particularly pleasing to the palate.
Kids are naturally drawn to sweet foods that are energy-dense. And in a world where these items are literally everywhere, parents are left unsure how to deal with them.
The problem goes something like this: kids fight for these foods but their parents fight back trying to keep their intake as low as possible. Or, parents give in because they simply don’t have the energy to fight. Either way, the issue of how to manage sweets is one many families face.
In this series, we’ll dig deep into this topic of how to raise kids who have a healthy relationship with sweets – and grow up eating them in moderation. We’ll have expert interviews, case studies, and specific strategies to get you and your family on the right track.
But first, we need to get to the heart of the problem. Not what everyone thinks is the problem, but the real problem.
The Problem – at face value
Everybody knows that Americans eat too many energy-dense foods. According to the 2010 Dietary Guidelines Report, foods with added sugars and solid fats contribute almost 35% of calories in the typical American diet. This is true for people of all ages – children, adolescents, and adults.
Yet the Dietary Guidelines recommend 10% of total calories come from what they call “discretionary calories.” And that’s only if people meet their nutrient needs first. Ouch.
The bottom line: Many people are consuming high quantities of foods that offer little in the way of nourishment. These foods are not meant to make such a large contribution to the diet of younger — and older– bodies.
The problem and solution are typically defined as “these tempting foods need to be cut back or eliminated from the diet.” But the way we go about this can make the problem much, much worse.
Uncovering the Problem — it’s more than taste
When parents see their kids loving sweets they often get worried, especially if their kid is at a higher percentile for weight. This fear often drives them to cut back sweets in their child’s diet in ways that are counter-productive.
Researchers reviewed 22 studies in the 2004 issue of Obesity Research and found that that parental restriction was the only feeding strategy associated with increased eating and weight in kids.
Take a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition several years ago. When offered to eat as many energy-dense foods as they wanted, girls (aged 5 to 7) of parents who restrict them from palatable foods at home were more likely to eat in the absence of hunger than the unrestricted girls. Research also suggests that girls who eat in the absence of hunger tend to feel bad about themselves.
Studies also show that an indulgent or permissive feeding style, common in lower-income homes, is associated with excess eating and higher BMI. This is letting children eat what they want when they want and that includes plenty of energy-dense foods.
And how about how adults feed themselves? Many spend their time between trying to be good on a diet or healthy eating plan or eating what they want in larger quantities. Studies show most people who diet will gain their weight back plus more.
So children and adults just don’t only over-eat sweets because of taste. The way they are fed, or feed themselves, has a major impact on whether they obsess, overeat, or simply prefer energy-rich foods.
Read: An Unconventional Way to Educate Kids About Nutrition (And Why it Works)
The REAL Problem
When I ask clients struggling with weight their biggest challenge they usually say something like “carbs,” “sweets” or “potatoes.” They fight hard to stay away from palatable foods because they think they have to.
This is the problem! Deep down no one wants to give up foods that are so highly preferred by their taste buds and that includes children. So people look for excuses to eat such foods whether it be stress, uncomfortable emotions, or celebration.
No one is taught how to eat sweets in a balanced way. In our society, we see food as black or white – good/bad, healthy/unhealthy. How many diets tell you to avoid bad foods? How many times do you hear someone say they were “bad” or “good” due to eating?
Yeah, we hear words like “moderation” or “occasionally” but what does that mean? Many fear that they can’t trust themselves around ice cream, cookies, or a big bowl of chips. And if they can’t trust themselves, how can they trust their children?
I believe our relationship with sweets is actually a learned behavior. Take a look at other cultures that make less of a big deal about indulgent foods (or drinking but that’s a whole other topic). They enjoy them without guilt and make them part of a well-balanced diet. Isn’t that what we want for our kids?
The answer to this dilemma lies somewhere in the middle of being too controlling or permissive when feeding our kids and ourselves. It’s learning to look at sweets in a whole new light.
Like my friend and pediatric dietitian Jill Castle once told me, “You want the kid who runs by the bowl of M&Ms without even noticing it.” Stick around for the series and I’ll help you raise a kid like that.
So tell me, what challenges does your family face when it comes to managing sweets?
Want a research-based guide on teaching kids how to eat sweets in moderation? Check out Maryann’s book, How to Raise a Mindful Eater: 8 Powerful Principles for Transforming Your Child’s Relationship with Food
We have a 16 month old and are fast approaching the time where we will need to correctly introduce her to eating sweets in moderation, so this series is very helpful for us! Currently we don’t keep any sweets in the household because my husband and I don’t have good self control around them, but it sounds like that might not be a good strategy for our kids. How do we raise the kids to “run past the bowl of m&ms without noticing” when we can’t model the behavior for them? Can we teach our kids to have a healthy relationship with sweets without having them in the home at all? Looking forward to your advice, thanks!
Thanks for writing Megan. Hopefully the series will address all your concerns!
It’s difficult for me to give my kids sweets in moderation, because if it is in the house I will binge on it. However, my five-year-old was starting to go nuts at parties, so I knew I had to find a solution. (It did NOT help that other adults at these parties would encourage him to eat lots of sweets! Grrrr!) Now I bake “healthier” treats occasionally and put them in the freezer in four-serving portions. (There are four of us in the family.) I take them out twice a week for dessert.
Nina,
We don’t have a lot of sweets in our home either except ice cream and sometimes cookies. I used to binge on sweets but have learned a new way of eating. Next post we’ll specifically address parents relationship with sweets and what role it plays.
Your line: “Many fear that they can’t trust themselves around ice cream, cookies or a big bowl of chips. And if they can’t trust themselves, how can they trust their children?” sums it up for me. While I’m not as obessed with sweets as I once was and can have some in the house, my kids are products of a mom overly concerned about eating “healthy”. Therefore, they tend to get way too excited about sweets. I find them exciting too, so I understand. I just get really frustrated when we somehow end up having more than one high-sugar, high-fat item per day. Or I can’t even remember a recent day where we took it easy on sugar.
If you couldn’t tell already, I’m looking forward to the rest of this series.
Cindy, I have a few case studies planned that should help give you good ideas on how to manage sweet foods. My daughter has a huge sweet tooth so I’m always trying to make sure I handle things right.
Hi maryann…I always love reading your posts. As you know I am married to an Eastern European and I am always amazed at how differently we perceive food. I really hope our 7month old daughter learns more from her European father than her American mother to tell you the truth. This topic of sweets for example…in Victor’s culture it is routine to have something sweet following a well balanced meal. It is usually baklava or gelato and no one gorges on it (kids and adults alike). It is also not really viewed differently as the main course. Meaning there is no real judgement on these foods. The other big difference in their eating habits is they eat VERY little processed foods and I am really trying to emulate that back here in the US as we raise our daughter. Most foods (including the desserts) are made at home and convenience/prepared foods are not readily available. After reading so much in the press lately I feel like that has to help with not feeling compelled to gorge or the “not trusting yourself” around these foods. These chemicals and preservatives that are added to these foods really do trick our palates into wanting more! Anyway, I think the way I will do my best to address sweets as well as overreating in general is to stick with eating only whole foods that are minimally processed. Wish us luck! 🙂
Hi Maryann
My 4 yo son definitely has a sweet tooth, but we have learned not to make a big deal about it. Not that he gets his way all the time, but we have seen that he never overeats the sweets when they are readily available to him.
He has a few favorites including chocolate, so we let him eat it if he wants to outside of the regular meals. He loves fruits, especially strawberries; so we try to balance it out by making fruits readily available to him. I think if you restrict the sweets, or use them as a reward for eating the “good” food, it only increases the craving even more.
I know it can be hard for parents to let go, but your advice of finding a middle ground between being too permissive and too strict is the right one.
Looking forward to your series on this theme!
Hi Maryann,
I’m really looking forward to this series. We have tried hard to have healthy foods in the house AND hit that point of moderation. One of the rules I made for myself was to avoid premade sweets at the store and make them myself at home. It seems to help us think about it more and to plan a little better.
THANK YOU!! I have been preaching this concept, thanks to my mom and grandmother’s preachings, ever since I became a mother, and I have kids who eat nearly everything in moderate amounts! We are also farmers, who are fighting for a positive image for our industry, and when the blame is put solely on things like high fructose corn syrup and the like, and not placed upon the behavior, it’s a losing battle. Thanks for your words! I will look forward to your series!
Thanks, Maryann! Great post as usual. Just wanted you to know we included it in our Friday food news wrap-up for the week! http://www.jollytomato.com/2010/08/27/friday-food-news-wrap-august-27/
cheers,
Jeanne
Thanks for your wise words around sugar.
You might be interested to check out this website – http://www.westonaprice.org/ – to learn more about the importance of saturated fat in our diets. It has been demonised over the last century, but is actually critical to good health – and in greater quantities than you would probably expect.
When my daughter was a year old around Halloween and I did not let her indulge on the ridiculous amount of candy that was given to her at a party, I was scoffed at by other parents and grandparents. She was ONE. In my opinion there was no need to give her candy at that age. Parents told me to beware – that if I withhold it from her, it will backfire on me. My daughter is now two ( almost 3) and I do let her have the occasional sweet at home and certainly when we are at a party. (I believe everything in moderation) But it seems to be everywhere. You go to the deli and they want to give my daughter a cookie. You go to the doctor, they want to give her candy. Park day with the moms —and they bring cookies and fruit snacks. Easter egg hunt at a friends….eggs with 4-5 pieces of candy in each one and enough eggs that each kid will find about 20 eggs. Will you be addressing the “parent peer pressure” issue when it comes to sweets?
Tamara — kids 2 and under shouldn’t get regular offerings of sweets (once a while okay). First off, their stomachs are small and nutrition needs high. They are too young to really notice or feel deprived. As they get closer to three, they become much more aware and that is a good time to offer sweets in a sensible way. Here is the rest of the series that should give you more tips on how to manage sweets. http://www.maryannjacobsen.com/category/managing-sweets-series/
Thanks for this series, I love it so far, have shared it and I look forward to part 2…
I wonder sometimes if parents who already don’t trust themselves around sweets also have an exaggerated perspective on their child’s love of sweets. Since kids are naturally more into sweets than most adults, a parent who is really into ‘health’ and sugar abstinence may read their child’s NORMAL interest as abnormal and consequently react as if there is a problem by over-restricting sweets.
You are so right Adina! Actually, this is an old series I was just posting on Facebook (will post the rest). You can see all the posts here http://www.maryannjacobsen.com/category/managing-sweets-series/