Maryann Jacobsen

Independent Author & Family Nutrition Expert

  • Home
  • Start Here!
    • Subscribe
    • Topics
    • Top Tips!
  • About
    • Services
    • Contact Us!
    • Media
    • Disclaimer
  • Blog
    • Popular Posts
    • Recipe Index
  • Books
    • RD Book Coaching Services
  • Podcast
  • Privacy Policy

The Guilt-free Guide to Becoming a Positive (Food) Role Model

August 10, 2009

Tweet
Pin
Share7
Yum
Email
Share
7 Shares

Most parents know that when it comes to healthy eating habits, they act as role models for their children. But the messages targeted to parents are usually doused in guilt – “you had better eat healthy – your kids are watching you!”

The last thing any parent needs is more guilt. And furthermore, guilt does a poor job of motivating, inspiring, and changing behavior for the long term. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty useless.

So drop the guilt and consider a different way of looking at – and becoming – a more positive role model for your kids.

Jump Ahead

  • Take a walk down memory lane
  • 2. See food through the eyes of a child
  • 3. Make feeding yourself a priority
  • 4. Don’t try to be perfect
  • The gift of health

Take a walk down memory lane

I’m always surprised when my clients don’t understand the real reasons they overeat. After some digging, I usually find their childhood to be a contributing factor. After all, most food learning occurs in the first 5 years of life.

So think about how your relationship with food came about. How and what did your parents feed you? Were they controlling or permissive or something in between? Did they make you clean your plate? Did they make eating vegetables seem like a punishment and eating sweets the best reward? Did they overly restrict sweets or fatty foods? And if you were bigger than average, did they try to encourage you to diet and eat less?

These questions are important because the answers give you insight into what has shaped your relationship with food. Even though you’re leading your children down a different path, if you continue to struggle with food or weight, they will catch on.

The best way to conquer your issues is to understand where they came from, let go of them and begin a new way of looking at food. For the research on how childhood eating affects adult eating see this post.

2. See food through the eyes of a child

While changing your outlook you’ll want to take lessons from young children. Babies are born a clean slate – they don’t have food baggage. They eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. They don’t see food as good or bad unless they are told or shown it is good or bad. If they snack before dinner they won’t eat dinner (what adult does that?). They are masters at regulating food without counting calories or reminding themselves what they “should” eat.

So don’t diet or “should” yourself into eating healthy. Instead, dust off those hunger and fullness signals that you were born with and start listening to them again. Ask yourself if you’re really hungry before eating and when you do eat stop when your body tells you you’re satisfied and comfortably full.

The Annoying Kids’ Eating Habit Parents Should Adopt

3. Make feeding yourself a priority

When my daughter started solids I put all my energy into what she ate. Then one day, while picking at her tasty spinach and mushroom omelet, I realized what was going on. I was making feeding her a priority over feeding myself (and my husband – I always seem to forget about him). Before she was born, I’d buy the minimum amount of groceries, rotate the same 4 meals and rarely experimented with new foods.

I knew that a new, fierce love was behind my motivation to provide my daughter with tasty and nutritious food. So I used that love as a catalyst to take better care of myself.

So use love, not guilt, as motivation to take care of you. If you feed yourself well, taking the time to prepare plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, then your child will grow up to be someone who makes feeding herself a priority.

4. Don’t try to be perfect

A friend was just telling me how her parents kept sweets and candy out of the house. She said that she and her siblings would take their weekly allowance and go buy sweets and candy. Her parents provided plenty of healthy food but forgot how to teach their kids how to eat not-so-healthy items.

Eating is not just about nutrition it’s also about enjoyment. Some foods provide pleasure without much nutrition. So show your children that you can enjoy items like ice cream, sweets and fried foods without guilt trips or overeating. And if you can’t do that quite yet, take some time to work on why you can’t.

This takes away the pressure of eating perfectly for your children. They need a role model for how to eat all types of foods so when they are on their own someday they can eat with confidence.

The gift of health

Instead of scrutinizing yourself for missing the mark, remember that you’ve been given a gift. Your children are here to teach you how to be better – and that includes eating well and being active. By working to prevent them from creating bad habits, you end up saving yourself in the process.

Photo by Raju GPK on Unsplash

Related Posts

  • post graphic yellow and green showing an apple saying: Ask Maryann: Can parents create food allergies in children?
    Ask Maryann: Can Parents Create Food Allergies in Children?

    Q: Can parents actually CREATE a food allergy by giving baby two new foods at…

  • Why I'm Neither For Nor Against Kid Food

    This is The Feeding Diaries, an ongoing series about the feeding escapades in my house.…

Tweet
Pin
Share7
Yum
Email
Share
7 Shares

Categories: Midlife Health & Nutrition 6 Comments

« Book Review: Fix-It and Forget-It Big Cookbook: 1400 Best Slow Cooker Recipes
Ask Maryann: What Should I Do When My Child Refuses Dinner? »

Comments

  1. Kristina says

    February 7, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    I usually only buy “healthy” whole foods for our family. These are also the foods that I prepare for snacks and meals. The only time my children get sweets or treats is on special occasions birthdays holidays etc. or sometimes my husband and I will decide to take the family out for ice cream or pie. Will this cause confusion to my kids? Will they associate the sweets with the fun experiences ? If so how can I change our current situation? I would prefer not to bring too much junk food into our house. Please help!

    Reply
    • Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen, MS, RD says

      February 7, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      I think it depends on lots of stuff. How old are your kids? Are they okay with the occasional treat? Do they seem to overeat when they finally get one.

      You don’t have to bring in junk but you could offer items like dark chocolate or homemade cookies sometimes. Kids have a preference for sweet and overly restricting may cause them to focus on those foods more. But each kid — and family — is different. More about offering sweets here http://www.maryannjacobsen.com/2011/02/managing-sweets-part-6-10-strategies-for-ending-kids-sugar-obsession/

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi, I’m Maryann…

Hi, I’m a registered dietitian who focuses on developmental stages. Here, you won’t get one-size-fits-all advice. Instead, you’ll get information based on your (and your family’s) age and stage. Make your choice between family and midlife-focused newsletters below and subscribe. Find out more!

Recent Posts

  • Yes, Every Midlife Women Should Take a Multivitamin (And Here’s Why)
  • 10 Signs Intermittent Fasting Doesn’t Live Up to the Hype
  • What do the Latest Vitamin D Studies Really Tell Us?
  • 3 Breathing Exercises That Will Change Your Life with Nick Heath [Podcast]
  • 6 Dietary Supplements Most Teenagers Need

Random Posts

  • 7 Simple Ways Dads Can Positively Influence Their Kids’ Health7 Simple Ways Dads Can Positively Influence Their Kids’ Health
  • 8 Ways to Talk to Kids About Nutrition so They Actually Listen8 Ways to Talk to Kids About Nutrition so They Actually Listen

Categories

Get the books!

The Alliance of Independent Authors - Author Member

Join the Newsletter

Sign up for Maryann’s E-mail Newsletter and get her ebook The Landmines of a Healthy Relationship with Food for FREE. Subscribe now!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list. You're not done. Check your email to confirm your address. After you do that, you'll receive a link for the free e-book.

.

Copyright © 2023 — Maryann Jacobsen • All rights reserved • Powered by Femme Flora. Designed & Developed by BinaryTurf Privacy Policy

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.OK Privacy Policy
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT