I recently went to see Bad Moms, a movie about a stressed-out mom who gives up on both her jobs as a professional and a mom. I don’t want to give it away if you haven’t seen it, but it’s the movie’s message I want to talk about.
There is a point in the movie where moms at a PTA meeting admit the ways in which they are bad moms. Whether its not giving their child a bath for 3 weeks or drinking at inappropriate times, it’s obvious that every mom — even the most put together ones — have these bad mom moments.
The problem is instead of feeling a bit guilty about these things, moms feel a secret shame about them. In her books shame researcher, Brene Brown, explains the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad for doing something you know you shouldn’t do, but shame is feeling unworthy because of it. Much of this has to do with our hyped-up self-esteem culture, something today’s parents and kids are especially vulnerable to. The competition is high, and everyone vying to be the best. The best parents produce the most successful kids. This is what happiness is about, right? (more…)