This is The Feeding Diaries, an ongoing series about the feeding escapades in my house.
Every year we go to Red Lobster for a family member’s birthday. This year, Big A announced she wanted to order lobster. I suggested we share the big lobster meal and she agreed. I was ecstatic to find her opting out of the kids’ menu.
I posted pictures on the Raise Healthy Eaters’ Facebook page, saying how I wish food on kids’ menu were just smaller portions of regular menu items, and got a variety of comments:
“I agree, but I also feel like we eat at restaurants so seldom that I don’t really worry about it.”
“We always share the adult food, and say no to the kids menu.”
It seems some parents are strongly against “kid food” while others were okay with it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I really don’t have strong feelings either way. And here’s why. (more…)
Great article! I like the “rules” you use when eating out with your kids. I’ve been so frustrated to bring our kids to Red Lobster (or other restaurants) and see them order Mac & Cheese, so we have been trying to figure out a good way to handle it. Ethnic restaurants are a great idea, too! Thanks for this website and your Fearless Feeding book!
Sarah, Thanks and Your welcome!
Thank you for this. When I was pregnant with DJ (now 2.5 y/o), I swore I would never order off the kids’ menu for him. I’ve softened since then, and my take is now similar to yours. Are the choices on the kids’ menu basically pint-size versions of what’s on the adult menu? Fine. I’m not going to insist that his meal be (much) healthier than ours. But like you, if we’re out for ethnic food, he gets the same.
His favorite restaurant meal? Sushi—miso soup, edamame, and an avocado roll wrapped in soy paper. He asks for it. We bought him a toy sushi set for Christmas.
Some of my “rules” might be arbitrary. I simply refuse to feed him chicken nuggets (and shut my eyes to the fact that he probably gets them at day care). I don’t feed him boxed mac ‘n cheese, but he scarfs down the homemade versions—and I order that for him at Panera; he can handle that a bit more easily than a sandwich, and the kids’ portion size isn’t outrageous.
I think every parent needs to figure out what they are comfortable with when it comes to eating out and stay consistent. Sounds like you’ve found the right balance for your family!
A couple of years ago, prior to my daddy getting diagnosed with GBM – brain cancer – I could not have agreed with you more. However, after dad’s diagnosis, and life crashing in on me, I have little time to cook meals for my family. We eat out 95% of the time (although we avoid fast-food). I wish that restaurants offered more vegetables. It makes me so sad to be eating out all the time, but I do find encouragement in the fact that all the work I put into exposing my daughter (now 8 years old) to nutritious foods when she was younger has had long-lasting effects. She still loves to eat ALL veggies (yes, including brussel sprouts, artichokes, beets, kale, spinach, etc). We often share meals at restaurants…and when we are in the mood for different things, we get her entrees from the adult menu (and save the left-overs). Once in a while she will order from the kid’s menu…and I’m OK with that. Even with the focus we have on eating the healthier options, I know that restaurant food is loaded with sodium…and unless we ate at places like Lyfe Kitchen all the time, I know the ingredients are not what I would personally purchase if I were doing the cooking. This week we are starting a new chapter – I’m hiring a personal chef to prepare 3 meals a week for our family. She will be doing the grocery shopping at Whole Foods and will be getting organic, grass-fed, non-gmo, ya know – the healthiest of healthiest stuff and preparing well balanced meals for us to enjoy. We are very blessed to be able to afford this. I am hoping to get back to cooking once life is not so overwhelming. Love your blog.
Pery — sometimes eating out is unavoidable. When we were re-doing our kitchen, I started looking more at the nutrition of at restaurants and your right, sodium is really high. I’m glad you have a chef to help out. I wish you the best with your Dad.
I am with you..
Kid food is neither an issue or a non-issue for me.
I’m lucky in that my kids don’t beg for chicken nuggets, fries or fast food. (They do like mac and cheese, but they eat it with a big side of broccoli, so i won’t complain.) I also use your number one rule of “don’t make food a big deal” religiously. LAst time we went out to eat, my kids ordered waffles (it was brunch). The time before they split a lobster and asparagus pasta.
Good to hear it Erin. I really think not making food a big deal is the best strategy. I always notice my kids are pretty calm around food and accepting of times the answer is “not now.”
As a mom of now teens, I can say that I didn’t make a big deal of kids’ menus. For one, I was never in the routine of serving chicken nuggets and French fries at home, so if they chose them out, then so be it. I will say that my kids had the freedom to look at both the adult and kids’ menu items, and often, they chose adult items because they were just as enticing and familiar. When they were young, they shared with each other or me or my husband. Now older, they get their own. We don’t go out a lot, because it’s expensive for a family of six! I agree, making a big deal of it draws more attention to it.
I think that’s a good strategy — give them more options and let them choose. Thanks for sharing!!
Hi Maryann,
I feel the same way as you do in regard to kids menu. It wasn’t an issue for us since we didn’t eat out frequently.
As a dietitian and mother of a 10 year old, I would agree that not giving too much attention to the kids menu has been successful in our household too! My daughter and I only eat out about twice a month, however, when given the choice, my daughter will either choose a place with chicken tenders and fries or sushi. Yes, sushi is her favorite! I really like your idea of not allowing the “American” cuisine at ethnic restaurants, I have not followed that in the past but will likely start.
One thing that I think is so important when exposing kids to new foods is to not “label” food or talk about what food your child “doesn’t” like. When friends invite us over for dinner they often ask “What does your daughter like to eat?” My response is “Whatever you serve”. Now, does she truly like everything that she is served? No. But it is my job as her mother to expose her to a variety foods and by choosing the menu, I fail to do that.
This is a great article, and I’m so glad I read it while my little one is still little! We don’t eat out often, but when we do I order from the kids’ menu as he isn’t yet two and it’s usually things he can eat easily, either with cutlery or hands, rather than having something to cut into. But we never, ever eat foods like that at home (chicken nuggets, etc) so I don’t really mind once in a while when we go out. But I do know a 6 year old who will ONLY eat either chicken nuggets, pizza, or sausages, with chips, for dinner every night, and I suspect this is due to overexposure to those foods. It hadn’t really occurred to me to order from the main menu for my son, but now I’m definitely going to consider it as he becomes older and more able to eat different varieties of texture without too much help.
On a vaguely-related note (related to the menu issue, but not so much to children’s diets), adults who have medical conditions which limit their food intake (such as after stomach operations, etc) can be issued cards allowing them to order from children’s menus, which restaurants legally have to honour (as some don’t allow people over a certain age to order from the children’s menu – I suppose because adult portions are more expensive). My poor Dad ends up eating this rubbish every time we go out as he refuses to order and pay for a portion he can’t manage, so for this reason I’m completely behind you on your argument that children’s menus should offer smaller potions of the same food as the adults’ menu.
I usually do what another poster mentioned, if we’re at a diner or place where chicken & fries are on the adult menu, they get to pick typical kid fare. Most ethnic restaurants have kid-friendly options. My kids love Mexican food, and although they are suspicious of many Asian dishes, I order plain options for them and they’re usually happy. My younger kids I order for (they’re 2) my 5 year old gets 2-3 choices, and my 9 year gets guidance (not much though, I’m usually happy with his choices). I wanted to add that this topic came up on Facebook, and a friend of mine related how she regularly took her niece out for lunch to Mexican food, and for years her niece chose typical kid fare, with no input or pressure from the adult to branch out. Then when she was around the age of 12, she suddenly started ordering off the adult menu. I thought that was pretty cool.
Hi i like your points its really a nice to use with