I lived in Los Angeles when I had my first child and most of my friends weren’t moms yet. I didn’t realize how much I’d need other moms until I became one. I still joke with my friends how I used to try and pick up moms in coffee shops.
“How old is your baby?” I’d slyly ask, hoping to make a connection.
Eventually I joined a mom’s group and got the support I needed but it was rough in the beginning.
So with Mother’s Day here, I wanted to write about how moms need other moms by highlighting some of the special moms in my life.
Jump Ahead
Same-age kids moms
No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, it helps to be friends with moms with kids the same age as yours. Whether it’s the early days when everything baby does worries or excites you or later when things aren’t so clear, we all need mom in our lives who understand the stage we are in.
I’m lucky to have joined a mom’s group in L.A. when I really needed it — and then found one in San Diego when we moved here when Big A was 13 months. A lifesaver for sure!
Role-Model Moms
We all need moms who have been there and can remind us that this stage too shall pass. I have two older sisters who had kids before me. I feel fortunate that they are not only a source of advice but two of my closest friends. Below is a picture of us at my wedding in 2004.
I also have my writing partner, Jill Castle, who has taught me so much about parenting older kids (especially when it comes to feeding). She is the mom of four and I’m amazed everyday how she handles her very full life!
Moms and Mother-in laws
I didn’t realize how often I would want to talk to my mom — whether it was a question or to share something funny one of my kids did. She loves my kids with all her heart and her unconditional love has always been an inspiration.
She’s also the techie grandma who always has the latest gadgets (one of Little D’s first words was “pad” for IPAD)
And I’m blessed with not just one, but two mothers-in-law. My husband’s mom (Nonnie) is always there when I need her (and five minutes away) and she never second-guesses me. My husband’s step-mom (Granny) makes everything more fun and takes care of dinner on Sundays.
Can’t-be-with Moms (and Grandmas)
Right before I got pregnant with Big A, I visited my grandmother, aunt and cousin in Serbia. My heart longs for them and it’s sad they can’t be closer.
I know some of you have lost mothers and grandmothers, or may not have them close, making Mother’s Day bittersweet. But the memories help. Below is a picture from my amazing trip.
Long-time friend moms
I love getting on the phone with mom friends who knew me BK (before kids). You have the old friend connection layered in with new mom one as well. My best friend Rochelle is due with her second any day and it’s fun to see her experience life as a mom (us being silly in the picture below BK and BM!).
And old friends don’t have to be moms — it’s fun to hang out and feel like the old me again like I recently did with my longtime friend Marisa.
Cooking/Organizing/You Name It Mama’s
Every mom has a talent — something they are naturally good at.
My friend Holly is an awesome cook and I’m always picking her brain. She turned me onto homemade granola bars and an awesome salmon rub. My friend Michelle is a great organizer and I always closely examine her house, amazed how there is no clutter.
There are the mom food blogs that make cooking look so easy, and inspire my own cooking.
Feeding Moms
I hope I can be one of the moms that help you with feeding your children. My goal all along has been to provide you with research-based guidance so you can make the best decisions for your family.
One of the nicest compliments I’ve received from a reader was ” [the information on your site] has made such a difference. My son is a good eater. We don’t stress over his eating at meals because I feel like we have tools to handle any situation.”
Instead of a source of stress, I want feeding to be enjoyable for every mom, which is what many of my books are about. I believe with the right information, support and commitment, we can all find our feeding groove. And a little self compassion doesn’t hurt either.
So enjoy Sunday. You deserve a day not to think about breakfast, snacks, and what’s for dinner.
Happy Mother’s Day!
I have found that even as my child gets older I still need friends that are mothers, mainly to see what they do as parents and what I do. It is always good to trade information, as they say it take a town to rise a child!
You are so right…probably still need them when the kids are gone ; )
I didn’t know how much I needed other moms in my life until I moved to LA too! But because of post partum depression with my 3rd it was hard for me to get out. It wasn’t until a group of moms in my neighborhood starting getting together that the depression became easier to deal with! My life wouldn’t have been the same and I am so grateful for them:) thanks for this post, it is something I believe in with all my heart!
Glad to hear things have gotten better. It’s so nice to have moms nearby.
I agree, Maryyann. I never appreciated the women in my life as much as when I became a mom.
You inspire many moms yourself. Thanks.
Thanks Katie! I can’t wait to try more of your recipes after the book is due ; )
I love your categories of moms. I never really thought about it that way, but you are right. I can put names from my life into every category.