• Home
  • Start Here!
    • Subscribe
    • Topics
    • Top Tips!
  • About
    • Services
    • Contact Us!
    • Media
    • Disclaimer
  • Blog
    • Popular Posts
    • Recipe Index
  • Books
    • RD Book Coaching Services
  • Podcast
  • Privacy Policy
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • RSS Feed

Maryann Jacobsen

Independent Author & Family Nutrition Expert

  • Home
  • Start Here!
    • Subscribe
    • Topics
    • Top Tips!
  • About
    • Services
    • Contact Us!
    • Media
    • Disclaimer
  • Blog
    • Popular Posts
    • Recipe Index
  • Books
    • RD Book Coaching Services
  • Podcast
  • Privacy Policy

Why Time For Me is Nonnegotiable at Midlife

January 18, 2019

a woman sitting outside with coffee
Tweet
Pin1
Share62
Yum
Email
Share
63 Shares

I was having a stressful week and was pushing harder to get things done. I found myself working some at night and setting the alarm before 5. On day three (Wednesday), I found myself feeling scattered considering pushing even harder the next day.

But this time I caught myself. I decided to take Thursday morning completely off. I let myself sleep longer, did an extra-long meditation, organized my to-do’s, and met a friend for coffee. And you know what? I came back seeing my stress clearly with extra energy to boot.

Here’s what I’ve learned: during midlife time for me is a must. And the more permission I give myself to take that “me break,” the better equipped I am to conquer daily stressors.

Jump Ahead

  • Noticing the signs before the storm
  • Carve out regular time
  • But saying no is so hard!
  • Some won’t like the change
  • The moral of the story

Noticing the signs before the storm

When we don’t take time for ourselves it comes out in other unhelpful ways. Maybe it’s lingering on the internet, eating/drinking more to take the edge off, or not being productive despite putting the hours in. Our bodies are telling us “I need a break” but we just push through.

I feel like a person can ride on this treadmill for a time and I did when my kids were small. But at midlife the signs the body’s had enough become louder. If you can notice them before the storm actually hits everyone is better off. For me, it’s when everyone in my family is getting on my nerves.

All of a sudden, I can hear my kids chewing loudly. Just a few “eat with your mouth closed please” and I’m planning my escape. Or it can be when I’m feeling overstressed about work as mentioned earlier. I’ve learned that this isn’t a sign I need to push harder. It’s a sign that I need to take a step back and get some perspective.

Carve out regular time

It’s smart to plan regular days for yourself or simply work “me time” into your routine. I typically run three times a week with friends but that can feel like work too. So I take nature walk breaks and try to carve out time on the weekend.

But the weekend time doesn’t always happen and that’s when I get in trouble. “The next and most important thing is for women to take time to care for themselves,” says Dr. Jerilynn C. Prior, Scientific Director, Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research. “That means women need to take time out for exercise, meditation, a cup of coffee with a friend, and to say no to more overtime or continuing to make their 12-year-old’s lunch.”

I don’t count “me time” as doing things like organizing the kitchen or going through bills. It’s the things I don’t have to do but that makes me feel better, giving me energy. It’s sleeping, getting lost in a book, meeting a friend, listening to music, watching anything I want, or sitting in my me spot.

My “me time” spot where I don’t hear anyone chew their food.

But saying no is so hard!

It was Saturday and I was feeling slightly under the weather coming off several nights of going out over the holiday season. Plus, I just ran 10 miles in preparation for a half marathon. But it was a planned night out with old high school friends, one of which recently had a big birthday. And I said yes right when the invite came up.

The old me would have sucked it up and went but I just knew I couldn’t so I backed out. I felt so bad. Letting others down is one of the hardest things for me.

For much of my life, others’ happiness stood in line before my own. I would gladly suffer not to disappoint someone. But at midlife, I’m gaining the courage to say no because the stress associated with the wrong yes comes at a cost.

I realize time is short and am keenly aware of how much my body can (and can’t) take. In hindsight,  I should have made plans to see my friend early in the season and stayed a “maybe” for the night out. Live and learn.

Some won’t like the change

Taking time for you can be hard on others. Your child may not like that you no longer are making his lunch or your significant other may complain when you make plans without the family.

This is normal and to be expected. But when we say yes to something, we should say yes out of love and true desire, not out of guilt or to avoid a bad reaction. Good things can happen too.

I think of the movie Bad Moms when all of a sudden her son made a frittata because she stopped making him breakfast. Others step up when they have to. See The Simple Change That Will Make Your Family Healthier and Happier

The moral of the story

Making time for you and putting yourself on top of the list may or may not come easy. But I hope, like me, you’re realizing that it’s a vital part of health and well-being at midlife. A skill that’s never too late (or early) to learn.

Have you been successful at carving out time for yourself? Please share your challenges and successes!

Want to learn more? Follow Midlife Strong on Instagram or join Maryann’s private Facebook group.

Related Posts

  • 5 Signs You're at Midlife (and Why it Matters)

    Somewhere along the line, the signs you're at midlife happen. But it doesn’t occur at…

  • Maryann running a marathon
    Why Exercise is Important to Me

    Exercise has always been a very important part of my life. And here I detail…

  • Why We Need Radical Honesty About Family Meals (Yes, From You Too)

    Family dinners. Everyone knows they need to make time for them. And, of course, that…

  • Over Forty? 5 Health Investments You Need to Start Making Now

    I had Little D three days before I turned 40. So when the big moment…

Tweet
Pin1
Share62
Yum
Email
Share
63 Shares

Categories: Midlife Health & Nutrition Comment

« Light Chicken Enchiladas [Recipe]
Getting Real About Feeding Kids with Sally Kuzemchak [Podcast] »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi, I’m Maryann…

Hi, I’m a registered dietitian who focuses on developmental stages. Here, you won’t get one-size-fits-all advice. Instead, you’ll get information based on your (and your family’s) age and stage. Make your choice between family and midlife-focused newsletters below and subscribe. Find out more!

Recent Posts

  • Heart Health for Women Over 40 Comes Down to This
  • How to Diet-Proof Your Daughter with Amelia Sherry [Podcast]
  • Yes, Every Midlife Women Should Take a Multivitamin (And Here’s Why)
  • 10 Signs Intermittent Fasting Doesn’t Live Up to the Hype
  • What do the Latest Vitamin D Studies Really Tell Us?

Random Posts

  • Nutrition From Head to Toe During Puberty (Part 1)Nutrition From Head to Toe During Puberty (Part 1)
  • Ask Maryann: Can Young Children Eat Fish?Ask Maryann: Can Young Children Eat Fish?

Categories

Get the books!

The Alliance of Independent Authors - Author Member

Join the Newsletter

Sign up for Maryann’s E-mail Newsletter and get her ebook The Landmines of a Healthy Relationship with Food for FREE. Subscribe now!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list. You're not done. Check your email to confirm your address. After you do that, you'll receive a link for the free e-book.

.

Copyright © 2023 — Maryann Jacobsen • All rights reserved • Powered by Femme Flora. Designed & Developed by BinaryTurf Privacy Policy

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.OK Privacy Policy
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT